Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
