Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
