i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
