its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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