On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
