In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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