I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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