Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize