PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
