he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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