so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
