I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you made out with another girl for some wings
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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