but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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