My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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