I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
