there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
