she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
