are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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