sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
