p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
