yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize