if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize