She said her name was "party"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
