I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
