The maid of honor just puked.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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