He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize