I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
