we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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