singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
