I need help removing her.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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