You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
