I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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