So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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