Your dad touched me again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
