no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
