found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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