We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
