you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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