Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
