During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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