Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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