don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
