just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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