So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
