I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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