You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
