Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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