Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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