Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
