You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
