Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
