his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i think i just lost a toe
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
