I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
