Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize