some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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