He is such a slut. More and more my type.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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