Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know where my bra went.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun

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(770): View more from Georgia

He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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(734): View more from Michigan

i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!

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(847): View more from Illinois

Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?

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