Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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