I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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