Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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