well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
