Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize