dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
