She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
